TheEducational Bit.

[Bluesnote]

p - piano (soft) - the neighbours have complained
f - forte (loud) - the neighbours are out
Crescendo - getting louder - testing the neighbours' tolerance level
ff - fortissimo (VERY loud) - to hell with the neighbours
pp - pianissimo (VERY soft) - the neighbours are at the door
Dim. - thick
Obbligato - being forced to practice
Rit. and/or Rall. - coming up to a bit you haven't practised
Con moto - I have a car
Allegro - A little motor car
Maestro - A bigger motor car
Metronome - Person small enough to fit comfortably into a Mini
Lento - the days leading up to Easto
(with eggo and choco and things)
Largo - brewed in Germany
(Hence "Handel's Largo" reaches parts other beers cannot reach!)
Piu Animato - if you don't clean that rabbit cage out, it will have to go
Interval - time to meet the players in the bar
Perfect interval - when drinks are on the house
Cantabile - singing (that is, viz. drunk)
Con spirito - drunk again
Cantata - a fizzy drink
Tutti - ice cream
Coda - a fish-a served with chipsa
Codetta - child's portion
Chords - things that organists play with one finger
Dischords - things that organists play with two fingers
Suspended chord - for lynching the soloist
Rubato - ointment for the musician's back
Subdominant - "I can't play until I've asked the wife"
Tonic - a pick-me-up
Syncopation - bowel condition brought on by an overdose of Jazz
Crotchet - knitting
Quaver - the feeling before a lesson when you haven't practised
Key signature - silly things put there to frighten you
(ignore them, they will go away, and so will your audience)
Time signatures - things for drummers to ignore
Colla voce - this shirt is so tight I can't talk
Professional - anyone who can't hold down a steady job
Flats - English apartments
A tempo - (just) in time
A tempo de cafe - Ah, coffee time!
Improvisation - what you do when the music falls down
Fugue - clever stuff
Prelude - warm-up session before the clever stuff
Acciaccattura/appoggiatura - insects
Opus - exclamation made when Moggy has done a "whoopsie" on the carpet
Scales - fishy things
Trills - bird food
Virtuoso - someone who can work wonders with easy-play music
Antiphonal - crossed lines
Melody - an ancient and now extinct art in songwriting
Music - Happiness!

[Bojan]

We can all use a bit of musical education!!!

[David Martin]

Excellent...

[dave robinson]

[JimTidmarsh]

During one of our choir rehearsals recently, the musical director was asked what syncopation was.
He said it was best to think of as a rapid movement between bars. Several baritones volunteered to demonstrate !!!

[stratmantd]

Also

Pizzicato - totally plucked, usually a result of a Perfect Interval.