A man applied for a job as a lion tamer at a circus. He is interviewed by the ringmaster and it went something like this.
Man: I've come for the job as a lion tamer.
Ringmaster: Have you got any experience?
Man: Well, I've been practicing at home with my pussy cat.
Ringmaster: Well this cat is a bit bigger than your moggy, but no matter. Now, when you get in the cage you will have a chair and a whip. When the lion comes out of the tunnel he should stop because he won't be expecting you. If he doesn't stop, you thrust the chair forward, take one step back and crack the whip once.
Man: Ok, but what if he still doesn't stop. What then?
Ringmaster: You thrust the chair forward again, take two steps back and crack the whip twice.
Man(getting worried): An..And what if he still don't stop?
Ringmaster: Well, by this time your back will be hard up against the bars of the cage, so you bend down pick up a handful of s##t and throw it right in his face.
Man(panicking): But ... but what if there isn't any s##t?
Ringmaster: Oh there will be old son.......there will be.....